Fast Food Made Me Slow
Fast Food Made Me Slow is a lighthearted country boogie about one man's ongoing battle with drive-thrus, diet shakes, and a stubborn sense of humor.
He just can't figure it out... the more fast food he eats, the slower he gets. And no matter how many SlimFast shakes he drinks, the faster his waistline seems to grow!
Packed with honky-tonk piano, twangy guitars, a bouncing rhythm section, and plenty of self-deprecating laughs, this song reminds us not to take ourselves too seriously. We've all promised, "Tomorrow I'll start eating healthier"... usually while finishing dessert.
So grab a seat, tap your boots, and enjoy a little country comedy—because sometimes the best thing you can do is laugh at yourself.
If this one made you smile, don't forget to Like, Subscribe, and share it with someone who's ever had a love-hate relationship with fast food!
🤠 Thanks for listening, and welcome to AN-26 Country!
Music video
Lyrics
I rolled into the drive-thru, said, "Just a burger today."
Then fries jumped in beside it, and a milkshake found its way.
I swore I'd keep it sensible, I meant it, honest, true...
But that apple pie kept winkin' from the corner of my view.
I scratched my head and laughed out loud,
'Cause life keeps proving me wrong somehow.
The more fast food I eat, the slower I get,
Can't even chase my old hound yet.
The more SlimFast I try to down,
The faster this ol' belly grows around.
If life's got a sense of humor, it's sure pickin' me,
I'm the fastest-growing slowpoke you'll ever see!
Bought myself a treadmill, thought I'd change my ways.
Now it holds my laundry most of all the days.
I parked way out at Walmart just to stretch these weary legs...
Then grabbed the motor scooter by the entrance instead.
The mirror grins, my belt complains,
But somehow I just can't explain...
The more fast food I eat, the slower I get,
Can't even chase my old hound yet.
The more SlimFast I try to down,
The faster this ol' belly grows around.
If life's got a sense of humor, it's sure pickin' me,
I'm the fastest-growing slowpoke you'll ever see!
Doc said, "Son, it's calories." I said, "That may be true..."
"But somebody oughta explain this barbecue!"
He laughed so hard he spilled his coffee all across the floor.
Guess he'd heard my story about a thousand times before.
The more fast food I eat, the slower I get,
Ain't outrun a biscuit yet.
The more SlimFast I pour on down,
The tighter every pair of jeans I've found.
So pass the ketchup, pull a chair, we're all just passin' through...
Life's too short not to laugh at you... and me too!
Well, tomorrow starts my diet...
Right after breakfast.
