Insania In Transylvania
**Going Insania in Transylvania** is a spooky, light-hearted bluegrass romp through a little Transylvanian village where monsters aren't frightening — they're just the neighbors.
Set to energetic bluegrass in E minor, the song follows the strange residents through an ordinary night in their decidedly unordinary town. Children feed bats like pigeons, hell pigs snarl from their pens, skeletons order beer with a dish rag on the side, and Old Bones discovers that he quite literally has music in his bones.
There's Rammie, the former king of the desert, still walking like an Egyptian — because how else should he walk? Professor Frankie's son Adam is loved by everyone, although the village remains deeply concerned about his dreadful bowl cut. Morticia provides the skull maracas, Lurch has never quite figured out how an upright bass is supposed to be played, and high above them all sits their legendary local hero, Count Vlad.
He's brave. He's proud. He's dressed in black.
He's the greatest Count they've ever had.
And **HE SUCKS!**
Life in Transylvania is perfectly peaceful until Van Helsing comes calling. Then it's broken doors, shattered windows, garlic, stakes and monsters running for cover while the thoroughly exasperated villagers wait for him to leave so they can get back to the party.
With driving banjo, walking bass, washboard percussion and theatrical storytelling, **Going Insania in Transylvania** turns classic monster lore into a warm-hearted Halloween bluegrass comedy where the creatures aren't the problem.
They're family.
Welcome to Transylvania.
**Population: mostly dead.**
Music video
Lyrics
There's a little old village in Transylvania,
Where the moon stays up till dawn,
The witches sweep the sidewalks,
While the zombies mow the lawn.
The children feed the bats at dusk,
Like pigeons in the square,
And the farmer raises hell pigs,
With red eyes and smokin' hair.
They snort and growl behind the fence,
And sometimes breathe a flame,
But nobody thinks that's strange around here,
It's always been the same!
Going insania in Transylvania,
Come on down and rattle your bones!
Going insania in Transylvania,
Where nobody ever parties alone!
The dead are dancing, the wolves are howling,
The ghosts sing ooooooh in tune,
Going insania in Transylvania,
Underneath that Transylvanian moon!
The skeletons drink with the locals,
At the tavern every night,
Old Bones orders up a beer,
And a dish rag on the side.
The beer runs down between his ribs,
And splashes on the floor,
He wipes it up and orders one,
He's coming back for more!
But Old Bones joined the band tonight,
And everybody knows,
He balances there on one leg,
And stretches out his toes.
Wolfie blows across his shin,
With fingers on the holes,
You ought to hear that leg bone sing,
He's got music in his bones!
Professor Frankie has a son,
And Adam is his name,
He's a little on the slow side,
But we love him just the same.
Got stitches cross his big forehead,
And boots that shake the frame,
Whoever was his hairdresser
Should hang his head in shame!
That bowl cut hasn't changed a bit,
Through lightning, storm and rain,
You'd think with all that science,
They could fix the poor boy's mane!
Going insania in Transylvania,
Come on down and rattle your bones!
Going insania in Transylvania,
Where nobody ever parties alone!
Morticia shakes her skull maracas,
The werewolves howl in tune,
Going insania in Transylvania,
Underneath that Transylvanian moon!
Old Rammie was a desert king,
Three thousand years ago,
Now he shuffles through the village,
At a pace that's mighty slow.
Rammie makes the whole world pause,
And everybody does,
All he ever wears these days
Is miles and miles of gauze.
Rammie walks like an Egyptian,
Well, how else should he walk?
Three thousand years beneath the sand,
And still he likes to talk!
Morticia shakes her skull maracas,
With elegance and class,
While Lurch has found the upright bass,
And bows it like a violin.
He drags that bow across the strings,
Makes noises from beyond,
Nobody ever taught him how,
But Lurch keeps bowing on!
But every now and then there's trouble,
And everybody knows the sound,
A carriage comes across the bridge,
Van Helsing's back in town!
He brings his stakes and brings his garlic,
Silver bullets by the sack,
He kicks down doors and breaks the windows,
Chasing everything in black.
The bats take cover, wolves start running,
Hell pigs scatter down the trail,
The villagers just shake their heads,
And pray he'll catch the rail!
Take your stakes, Van Helsing!
Take your garlic, take it all!
We'd just repaired the tavern,
Since your visit here last fall!
But high above the village,
Where the mountain shadows fall,
There's an ancient castle touching heaven,
With the deepest dungeon of them all.
The bats all sing his praises,
The werewolves howl his name,
A hero out of ancient times,
Of legendary fame!
He's brave!
He's proud!
He's dressed in black!
The greatest Count we've ever had!
Ladies and gentlemen,
Count Vlad!
He sucks!
Going insania in Transylvania!
Come on down and rattle your bones!
Going insania in Transylvania!
Where every monster calls it home!
The bats are singing!
The wolves are swinging!
Old Bones is playing his leg!
The hell pigs snort while the dead cavort,
And Rammie's wrapped from foot to head!
Going insania in Transylvania!
Where the strange is perfectly sane!
Going insania in Transylvania!
Till Van Helsing comes again!
Nooooooo!
